In just over a month, freshman students will be arriving on college campuses, moving into dorm rooms, and attending their first day of class. It is an (understandably) stressful time for the incoming freshman class. There are many, many, many unknowns for new students: Who is my resident assistant? What buildings are my classes in? Where is my dorm’s mailroom? When is the dining hall open on the weekend? Why can’t you leave a bike on campus? How exactly do credit hours work? It’s also a stressful time for parents because they (also understandably) might worry that their child isn’t prepared for this next chapter. After all, your student might be largely on their own for the first time at a college several states away.
Yes, most students are unprepared for college life in some way, but that isn’t meant to be alarming. Instead, it is a reminder that there is no amount of planning and learning that can prepare a student for every single thing that will happen over the time they are at a university. In fact, a significant part of any college education—especially for those entering college right after high school—comes from the experiences and challenges a student faces inside and outside of the classroom. So, let’s reframe things, and consider the tangible and intangible life skills that provide a foundation for students to be successful, to allow them to address problems small and large.
Effective Communication
Your student could be attending the same university that nearly all of their high school friend group is attending, it could be your alma mater that they’ve visited dozens of times for football games, or the school could be in the same city as your family members, but the reality is that college will place them in largely unfamiliar environments with people different from them. That’s a good thing. They’ll make new friends and develop a fuller understanding of the world. It does, however, mean that students will need to put in the effort to understand others and communicate effectively with them. Whether they’re talking to a sorority sister who grew up with very different financial circumstances or an overworked, slightly cranky teaching assistant, all of those conversations—whether online or in-person—will require considerate communication.
This doesn’t just apply face-to-face. In any digital spaces, professionalism is paramount. However, the bulk of incoming freshmen don’t even know how to write a polite, purposeful email. Asking your student to write a practice professional email before they arrive on campus will almost certainly elicit a hard eye roll. Instead, consider providing them with resources that can help them draft a professional email. Better still, act as a resource and review an email before they send it off to a professor.
The same courteousness required in an email applies to in-person communication. Whether your student is working to develop a professional relationship with a professor or trying to navigate conflict with someone on their dorm floor, they’ll need to be genuine during those exchanges, which often looks like asking questions to better understand the perspective, interests, and values of another person. You can’t, of course, teach your child to be a supercommunicator right before they head off to college. Instead, consider how you speak with them and model the kind of productive conversation they should aim to have in college. If you’re not sure where to start, you might ask how they’re honestly feeling about going to college? What excites them? What makes them anxious?
Applying Some Home Economics
Unlike interpersonal communication, home economics is largely about correctly applying specific skills, and there are three tangible things you can teach them that will be incredibly helpful.
How to set a budget (and stick to it)
Have a frank conversation with your student about how much money you will be able to provide them while they’re at college. (Bonus: This is a future kindness to your relationship and can help avoid tense conversations when they want to join Greek life and you refuse to pay for their registration fees.) Once you’ve had that conversation, help them fill out a budget planner.
How to cook their favorite meal
You know the family’s secret chili recipe has been their favorite thing to eat since they were 6. It’s time to share the recipe with them. Better still, cook it together, write down the steps, and then have them cook it for the family before heading off.
How to clean
It’s a humbling experience to ask your roommate how to use a washing machine, or when no one knows how to plunge an overflowing toilet. While you’re going over these basics, offer them a friendly reminder: Personal hygiene is a component of cleaning, and it’s as essential for good health as keeping a clean space.
Time Management
There’s always something to do in college—intramural sports, live performances, volunteer work, prepping your resume at the career center, studying for tests, and completing assignments. Plus, your student will soon realize that they’re only in class for 12 to 18 hours a week, and they’re used to spending roughly 6 hours a day at their high school. That’s a lot of time to have on their hands … until it isn’t. To do well on major assignments and exams in all of their class, your student will need to effectively manage their “downtime.” Part of this is figuring out how they learn best in college courses, but it also means keeping track of those semester milestones and planning around them. At The Enrichery, we recommend students use paper planners for many reasons, so make sure your student bought one at Target when they went to buy decorations for their dorm.
Finally, it’s important to recognize that your student’s college experience won’t be the same as your college experience. University life has changed since you were in school. Even if it were the same, there’s no planning for everything, but you can provide them with the skills they need to be successful on their own. The Enrichery offers executive function coaching for elementary, middle, and high school students that develops the study skill systems required for academic and life-long success. If you want to ensure your student has the skills needed to succeed in college, consider signing up today!
